My little Nigga

062809

Divas

Cheers for this weekend with my Divas.. Miss them..

Just an empty feeling.

There's so many things going on in my head, and I can't seem to come to a conclusion about these thoughts. I mean I don't think I'm selfish, although sometimes I am, but ugh. I think I just over analysis things more than they should be analysis. People do have feelings, and they are suppose to feel a certain way towards things. Sometimes I feel I'm to nice, but I know no better, this is the person I am, and I don't think it will ever change. I'm probably a little too understanding, but ugh, I just feel alone, I feel useless, which I know I'm not but that's how I feel. I feel empty, everything will fall into place eventually or at least I hope so.

Haiti

I tell you, all these natural disasters, baby jesus is trying to tell us something. My prayers go out to all the families whom lost people in Haiti, as for my family, everybody is okay, thanks god. If you can reach out and help in any way possible, please do, I bet it'll make you feel great for doing a good deed.

9700

I must say, this phone is far most he best creation in the world!...the blackberry 9700, freak a i-phone.

Wednesday

So as I'm bbming my sister in law, I'm asking her about topics to blog about, and nothing comes to mind, and bam, something came to mind. Remember "The Adam family", I think I look like the little girl Wednesday, weird but true lol... Take a look for yourself.

Chella

Many people will walk in and out of you life... ...but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. Throughout life, I've had plenty of what I would have consider my "best friend" Eventually we lose contact or we just all go our separate ways. They always say "friends you meet in college are the ones that will remain", and you can say it again. Her name is Michelle, she resembles me in every way possible. I mean she's not normal, but who said I was normal to begin with?. I met her in summer 06, and believe it or not, I did not like the girl, it was something about her that I couldn't stand, and here we are now, bbf, conchita and chella. She understands me in a level where nobody does, she doesn't judge me and loves me for who I am, and nothing else. Just want to say I love her.

2006




2009

I <3 Speech Path

Reality is that growing up, I've always been unsure about what I've want to do in life, but I always found myself being very caring and considerate for other people. I remember telling my mother "ah mami, esa viejita es linda" and everybody would tell me "but they're so cranky". Throughout life I was never able to be mean to anybody no matter what they did to me. I would always cry and take my anger out on my sisters or what not, but never would I take it out on "innocent individuals".When applying to college I wasn't sure of what I want to do, but I knew I want to make a change in somebody life. The truth is that when I applied to school I did not know what I want to do, matter of fact I didn't even want to go. So I applied to college, and my main concern was to get accepted and actually make my parents proud. First I want to do psychology when I got accept into Marymount Manhattan College, (which I only applied to it because the name seemed pretty.lol,) I was more than happy. I didn't want to go into a Cuny (no offense), since my older sister went to a private college which challenged me to want to look as good as she did for going to a private school. As my freshman year passed, I did pretty good, I received at least four A, but reality was that I got a B+ in Psychology, I told myself that if I didn't get an A than might as well change interest. That year I took a tour of the school, and realized this neat program "Speech Pathology". I was feeling the same way you're probably feeling as you read this-wtf?. I decide to take a few classes in the major, which seemed easy, but I wasn't very interested in it, the thing that interested me believe it or not, was the director of the major. She was Hispanic, and here she was with this good job. She inspired me, I was always used to people saying "ah Hispanic this Hispanic that" so I didn't want to be a stats, and here I am, four years later, graduating with a B.S in Speech Language Pathology with a concentration in Education and Social work, what more can I ask for? The best part about it is that I'm so in love with it that I'm actually going to continue for my master, I mean if this wouldn't make you happy than I don't know what will.

1:00 am

I can't seem to fall asleep. I don't know what it is, but everything just seems so weird. I find myself crying from time to time, and I can't seem to know why, sometimes I wonder if I just over analysis life at times. I mean everything seems so perfect, but at times I feel that they're not, I just feel empty. I mean I know I'm not depressed, but I don't know what it is. I feel I do so much, and I seem to beat myself up for things that happen in life, which I shouldn't stress so much. If they don't care than why should you?. ugh. Even when everything seems to go perfectly, deep down they're not. Well I guess I'm lucky enough to have people in my life that care, so let me stop complaining and think of happy thoughts.

You only say you hate somebody because deep down there's a strong love toward that person.

What ever happened with people actually being nice now a day? Everybody seems to always walk with a nasty look on their face, and they just seem to be mad at the world. If you're having a rough day, there's no need to take it out on other people. Just be nice.

Hey

So it's been so long since I've actually logged in and wrote on this blog thing so why not?, since all I'm doing is staring at a blank computer screen. First is first, Happy New Year, yea it's almost February and now is that I'm wishing everybody a new year.

This year has been a long one, one that brought upon many emotions. Let's just say I'm pretty happy the year is dead and gone. As I write, I'm trying to brainstorm stuff and actually make them sound cool, but reality is, I'm not that kind of person. I forgot what it was that I was reading, (since I work in a library and books is all I see), and I came across these words "Search for Inspiration". I mean they are the best words nor are they like magical, but it got me to think about things that have inspired me throughout life, and actually gotten me where I'm at now. Individual that inspires me in a weird way would be my father as well as my sister.

My father? - Well, growing up he's always been around, and he's been this very quiet person in the household. I mean yes, he's my father and all, but he's always been somebody very discrete in a weird way. He's always played his role as the father, and as well as the household provider, but I've always felt that there's something about him that's missing. I believe that I am where I am in life at this point because of him, he's always worked so hard to have us become somebody and for him I will become that somebody whom he wants me to me. ( pointless inspiration writing lol)

My older sister?: I see so much in her that wants to get out and loss, but it's something inside of her that doesn't let that happen. We've had our difference before but I believe we are in a point in life where we seem to understand each other more than ever. I feel I resemble the person that wants to come out of her, which is why she loves me..lol.

"What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you. fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

when reading this quote, the first thing that came to mind, which is really awkward was "that thing" I've been going to school for the last four years. As graduation gets closer, I seem to get more nervous, it's actually hitting me in some weird way, and I don't feel "old enough". I mean when you think of somebody graduating college, you think of this whole new person, but reality is that I still feel the same, and at times I don't feel that I'm prepare as I should be. Ah but than again maybe I am, when people ask what I'm majoring in and I explain, its seems to me as if I'm talking another language. It might just be something of my nature which makes it's normal for me to be a expert in it. yay! biscuits for me. Well going back to that quote before I lost focus, it made me think about getting out of bed and going to do what I love to do-help other. I want to make a difference in somebody's life, I don't necessarily have to like make them rich but I want to be that person whom played a role in their life one way or another. I want to be in love with what I do, where ever I do it. Its similar to being in love, every time you go to sleep, you think about that person, when you wake up, you think about the person, when you make decision in life whether it's what you're going to eat to when you should wash your hair, you think about that person. Yea I know, seems very strange, but it's love and it seems to only happen to the best of us. je je, enough of my corniness

-Yarisa