Hey

So it's been so long since I've actually logged in and wrote on this blog thing so why not?, since all I'm doing is staring at a blank computer screen. First is first, Happy New Year, yea it's almost February and now is that I'm wishing everybody a new year.

This year has been a long one, one that brought upon many emotions. Let's just say I'm pretty happy the year is dead and gone. As I write, I'm trying to brainstorm stuff and actually make them sound cool, but reality is, I'm not that kind of person. I forgot what it was that I was reading, (since I work in a library and books is all I see), and I came across these words "Search for Inspiration". I mean they are the best words nor are they like magical, but it got me to think about things that have inspired me throughout life, and actually gotten me where I'm at now. Individual that inspires me in a weird way would be my father as well as my sister.

My father? - Well, growing up he's always been around, and he's been this very quiet person in the household. I mean yes, he's my father and all, but he's always been somebody very discrete in a weird way. He's always played his role as the father, and as well as the household provider, but I've always felt that there's something about him that's missing. I believe that I am where I am in life at this point because of him, he's always worked so hard to have us become somebody and for him I will become that somebody whom he wants me to me. ( pointless inspiration writing lol)

My older sister?: I see so much in her that wants to get out and loss, but it's something inside of her that doesn't let that happen. We've had our difference before but I believe we are in a point in life where we seem to understand each other more than ever. I feel I resemble the person that wants to come out of her, which is why she loves me..lol.

"What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you. fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

when reading this quote, the first thing that came to mind, which is really awkward was "that thing" I've been going to school for the last four years. As graduation gets closer, I seem to get more nervous, it's actually hitting me in some weird way, and I don't feel "old enough". I mean when you think of somebody graduating college, you think of this whole new person, but reality is that I still feel the same, and at times I don't feel that I'm prepare as I should be. Ah but than again maybe I am, when people ask what I'm majoring in and I explain, its seems to me as if I'm talking another language. It might just be something of my nature which makes it's normal for me to be a expert in it. yay! biscuits for me. Well going back to that quote before I lost focus, it made me think about getting out of bed and going to do what I love to do-help other. I want to make a difference in somebody's life, I don't necessarily have to like make them rich but I want to be that person whom played a role in their life one way or another. I want to be in love with what I do, where ever I do it. Its similar to being in love, every time you go to sleep, you think about that person, when you wake up, you think about the person, when you make decision in life whether it's what you're going to eat to when you should wash your hair, you think about that person. Yea I know, seems very strange, but it's love and it seems to only happen to the best of us. je je, enough of my corniness

-Yarisa